THINGS YOU CAN ONLY SAY AT CHRISTMAS
1: I prefer breasts to legs.
2: Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3: Smother the butter all over the breasts.
4: If I don't undo my trousers, I'll burst!
5: I fancy a little dark meat for a change.
6: It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
7: Don't play with your meat!
8: Stuff it up between the legs as far as it will go.
9: I didn't expect everyone to come at the same time!
10: You still have a little bit on your chin.
11: How long will it take after you put it in?
12: That's the biggest bird I've ever had!
13: I'm so full, I've been gobbling nuts all morning.
