The Talking Centipede (made me laugh anyway)
A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet.
So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.
After some discussion, he finally bought a talking centipede, which came in a little white box to use for his house.
He took the box back home, found a good spot for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the pub for a drink with him.
So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go down the pub with me today? We will have a good time."
But there was no answer from his new pet.
This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked again, "How about going down the pub with me ?"
But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation.
The guy decided to invite the centipede one last time.
This time he put his face up against the centipede ' s box and shouted, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to the pub with me? ..... This time, a little voice came out of the box,
"I heard you the first time!
I 'm putting my fucking shoes on!"
_________________ keep your friends close and your enemies even closer
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