Two old friends were just about to tee off
at the first hole of their
local golf course when a guy carrying a
golf bag called out to them,
"Do you mind if I join you? My partner
didn't turn up".
Sure, they said,you’re welcome.
So they started playing and enjoyed the
game and the company of the
newcomer.
Part way around the course, one of the
friends asked the
newcomer,"What do you do for a living?"
“I’m a hit man," was the
reply.
"You're joking!”was the response.
"No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his
golf bag, and pulling out a
beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a
large telescopic sight.
"Here are my tools."
"That's a beautiful telescopic sight,” said the
other friend,"Can I take a look?
I think I might be able to see my house from here".
So he picked up the rifle and looked
through the sight in the
direction of his house."Yeah, I can see my
house all right.
"This sight is fantastic. I can see right
in the window. Wow, I can see
my wife in the bedroom".
"Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!! Wait a
minute, that's my neighbor in
there with her......He's naked, too!!! The bitch!"
He turned to the hitman.
“How much do you charge for a hit?"
"I'll do a flat rate, for you:
one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."
"Can you do two for me now?"
“Sure, what do you want?”
"First, shoot my wife; she's always been
mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth.
Then the neighbor, he's supposed to be a
friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off
to teach him a lesson."
The hitman took the rifle and took aim,
standing perfectly still for a
few minutes.
“Are you gonna do it or not?" asked the
friend impatiently.
"Just be patient," said the hitman calmly,
"I think I can save ya a grand here."