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nOs*Mercenary
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Post subject: A few 'Short Ones' Posted: Sun Aug 24, 2014 11:46 am |
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Hawk |
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Joined: Sat Jun 02, 2012 10:25 pm Posts: 196 Location: Where men are men and the camels are scared!
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I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.
> After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, Jim woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when he realised he had made it home safely.
> Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.
> IT’S A BOY" I shouted "A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, IT’S A BOY". And with tears streaming down my face I then swore I'd never visit another Thai Brothel!
> In the first few days of the Olympics the Romanians took gold, silver, bronze, copper & lead.
> Sailing results are in, GB took gold, USA took silver and Somalia took a Middle aged couple from Weymouth
An Englishman has started his own business in Afghanistan. He is making land Mines that look like prayer mats. It’s doing well. Prophets are going through the roof!!
Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast, they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
> A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?' Granny replies, sod the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?
> Little Billy asks his dad for a telly in his room. Dad reluctantly agrees. Next day Billy comes downstairs and asks, 'Dad, what's love juice?' Dad looks horrified and tells Billy all about sex. Billy just sat there with his mouth open in amazement. Dad says, 'So what were you watching?' Billy says, ' Wimbledon .'
> Wife gets naked and asks hubby, 'What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?'Hubby looks her up and down and replies, 'Your sense of humour
_________________ keep your friends close and your enemies even closer
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nOs*Grandpa
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Post subject: Re: A few 'Short Ones' Posted: Wed Sep 10, 2014 4:00 am |
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Leopard |
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Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2011 10:39 pm Posts: 430
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don't get #3
_________________
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nOs*Rurik
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Post subject: Re: A few 'Short Ones' Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2015 8:21 am |
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Gauntlet Captain |
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Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2011 10:43 pm Posts: 700 Location: El Salvador
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Lmao!
_________________ Signature by =(V)=D/\SH! Jeg har ingenting, men jeg har alt når jeg har deg. ------------------------------------------------------------------
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nOs*Wildcard
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Post subject: Re: A few 'Short Ones' Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2015 6:12 am |
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Admin Wizard |
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Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2011 5:40 am Posts: 3028
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Ha Ha! Not bad! some good ones in this collection!
_________________ The administration of "GateWays" "gauntletwarriors.com" reserves the right to be unfair.
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amotherslove
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Post subject: Re: A few 'Short Ones' Posted: Wed Mar 18, 2015 2:55 pm |
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Gauntlet Janitor |
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Joined: Tue Nov 19, 2013 12:47 am Posts: 36
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amotherslove
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Post subject: Re: A few 'Short Ones' Posted: Thu Aug 06, 2015 2:47 pm |
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Gauntlet Janitor |
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Joined: Tue Nov 19, 2013 12:47 am Posts: 36
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Two Irish women were sitting next to each other in a bar. After a while, one looked at the other and said, 'From listening to ya speak, I can't help but think you're from Ireland.' The other woman responded, proudly, 'Surely I am...!
The first one said, 'So am I...! And where bouts in Ireland are ya from...?'
The other woman answered, 'I'm from Dublin' and the first one responded, 'So, am I! And what street did ya live on in Dublin'?
The other woman said, 'A loovely little area in the west end; Warbury Street in the old central part of town'. The first one said, 'Faith and begorrah, it's a small world! So did I! And what school did ya go to?'the other woman answered.
Well now, I went to Holy Heart of Mary', at which the first one got really excited and said, So did I! So did I! What year did you graduate?' The other woman answered, Well, now, let's see … I graduated in 1964.
The first woman exclaimed, 'Good Lord! I can hardly believe the luck of us winding up in the same pub tonight! Can you believe it? I graduated from Holy Heart of Mary in 1964 meself!'
About this time, a regular customer, Michael, walked into the bar, sat down and ordered a beer.
Brian, the bartender, walked over to Michael shaking his head and muttering, 'It's going to be a long night, Michael!'
Michael asked, 'And why's that, Brian?'
Brian answered, 'The Murphy twins are drunk again.'
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