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 Post subject: Jesus and Satan
PostPosted: Sun Dec 29, 2013 5:22 am 
Hawk
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Joined: Sat Jun 02, 2012 10:25 pm
Posts: 196
Location: Where men are men and the camels are scared!
For all you 'younguns' who thought computer were new...ha!

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.

Finally fed up, God said, 'THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job.' So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.
They moused.
They faxed.
They e-mailed.
They e-mailed with attachments.
They downloaded.
They did spreadsheets!
They wrote reports.
They created labels and cards.
They created charts and graphs.
They did some genealogy reports .
They did every job known to man.

Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.

Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off..

Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in
the underworld. Jesus just sighed.

Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their
computers.

Satan started searching frantically, screaming:
'It's gone! It's all GONE! 'I lost everything when the power went out!'

Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work. Satan observed this and became irate. 'Wait!' he screamed. 'That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?'

God just shrugged and said,

JESUS SAVES....

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 Post subject: Re: Jesus and Satan
PostPosted: Tue Dec 31, 2013 3:26 am 
Leopard
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Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2011 10:39 pm
Posts: 430
Subject: FW: Three Italian Nuns



Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven . . .


At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says, "Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you wish to be.


The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren;" And *poof* she's gone.


The second says, "I want to be Madonna and *poof* she's gone.


The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini.."


St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he asks "Sara Pipalini;" replies the nun.


St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't ring a bell." The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter.


St. Peter reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says. "No sister, the paper says it was the ' Sahara Pipeline' that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months."


If you laugh, you are going straight to hell!

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 Post subject: Re: Jesus and Satan
PostPosted: Sat Apr 19, 2014 7:06 am 
Admin Wizard
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Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2011 5:40 am
Posts: 2967
Both of these were funny :)

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 Post subject: Re: Jesus and Satan
PostPosted: Sat Apr 19, 2014 5:49 pm 
Gauntlet Captain
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Joined: Mon Jun 20, 2011 10:43 pm
Posts: 700
Location: El Salvador
Hahaha. :lol:

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