Wayne is almost in his 70's who loves to fish....
He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, 'Pick me up.'
He looked around and couldn't see anyone. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again,'Pick me up.'
He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog. The man said, 'Are you talking to me?'
The frog said, 'Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up, then kiss me; and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous, because I will be your bride!'
The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully and placed it in his shirt pocket.
The frog said, 'What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said, "Kiss me, and I will be your beautiful bride."'
He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said,
'Nah. At my age, I'd rather have a talking frog.'
With age comes wisdom...
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Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around when she hollers out, "Pa! You need to go out and fix the dunny!" (Australian colonial word for toilet) Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with the dunny." Ma yells back, "Yes there is, now git out there and fix it." So Pa mosies out to the dunny, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with the dunny!"
"Ma replies, "Stick yur head in the hole!" Pa yells back, "I ain't stickin my head in that hole!
"Ma says, "Ya have to stick yur head in the hole to see what to fix." So with that, Pa sticks his head in the hole, looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong with this dunny!" Ma hollers back, "Now take your head out of the hole!"
Pa proceeds to pull his head out of the hole, then starts yelling, "Ma! Help! My beard is stuck in the cracks in the toilet seat!"
To which Ma replies,"Hurts, don't it?!"
_________________ keep your friends close and your enemies even closer
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